Today Travis and I got into a long discussion about whether we will keep Henry's testicles attached or not. It started at Travis's work when I went to meet him for dinner, since he stays late on Tuesday. Apparently his co-workers (all men of course) had convinced him that it is not right to rob a "man" of his goods. I had lots of good reasons why you should remove the balls. Number one: I am so sick of seeing his lipstick, red rocket or whatever you want to call it and if a little snip snip can shield my eyes for the one eyed snake looking at me then I think it is worth every penny. Secondly, he will not have those huge gross hair balls between his legs that everyone would secretly talk about whenever they are over. Third he won't be as hyper. Four he won't lift his leg. Five he will not be as aggressive towards other male dogs. Lastly...for all you Price is Right fans...Bob says spay and neuter your cats and dogs! I think it is very important as an owner of a DOG... that you snip the balls so he doesn't go running off and getting some dog pregnant and then we get charged with puppy support!
To make this life change a fun event I propose having a ball cutting party! We will invite our friends over and cut a cake (in the shape or design of balls or course), play bin the balls on the donkey and just sit around and pay tribute to the balls Henry once had. If you vote for no balls...you could be invited to this memorable occasion!Travis felt that I wouldn't be able to correctly state his point of view so for the first time Travis is going to make his entry on why the balls must belong to Henry....
Katie laid the introduction well to this very serious debate. I must say that I was all for snipping the balls off of ole Henry when he came of age...but I had a change of heart today while talking with those male coworkers Katie mentioned. One of my sergeants, a native of Louisiana, informed me that a pure bred male dog is often sought for their sperm and PAID a stud fee. Generally $100, or the pick of the litter. Wow I thought, that is a considerable amount of cash, and because he is a male dog its not like we have to have a pregnant emotional mom dog around. Just Henry, who would probably be more happy and relaxed after the whole ordeal. Not to mention Katie and I would have 100 more dollars to go out to sushi or perhaps a nice date night. In my mind I was imagining all sorts of ways to spend that extra money, and all we had to do was not PAY to cut off his balls. Hmm...that sounds like a win win to me. The only negatives me and my male co workers could come up with--none. I thought of a few reservations Katie might have, namely that he would pee on more things, but he already does. Also, Katie says she doesn't want to see his red rocket, however I must say that this will not end when his balls get cut off. Charlie has not had his balls for a year and still greets us in his excitement with the lipstick, or whenever he licks himself. In conclusion, I hope you agree with me after weighing the evidence, that this is in fact a win win. Also, my coworkers said they want to picket outside our house with signs saying, "Save Henry's Balls!" So join the cause.
Katie laid the introduction well to this very serious debate. I must say that I was all for snipping the balls off of ole Henry when he came of age...but I had a change of heart today while talking with those male coworkers Katie mentioned. One of my sergeants, a native of Louisiana, informed me that a pure bred male dog is often sought for their sperm and PAID a stud fee. Generally $100, or the pick of the litter. Wow I thought, that is a considerable amount of cash, and because he is a male dog its not like we have to have a pregnant emotional mom dog around. Just Henry, who would probably be more happy and relaxed after the whole ordeal. Not to mention Katie and I would have 100 more dollars to go out to sushi or perhaps a nice date night. In my mind I was imagining all sorts of ways to spend that extra money, and all we had to do was not PAY to cut off his balls. Hmm...that sounds like a win win to me. The only negatives me and my male co workers could come up with--none. I thought of a few reservations Katie might have, namely that he would pee on more things, but he already does. Also, Katie says she doesn't want to see his red rocket, however I must say that this will not end when his balls get cut off. Charlie has not had his balls for a year and still greets us in his excitement with the lipstick, or whenever he licks himself. In conclusion, I hope you agree with me after weighing the evidence, that this is in fact a win win. Also, my coworkers said they want to picket outside our house with signs saying, "Save Henry's Balls!" So join the cause.
But I tried to be reasonable so I told Travis I would ask my blog peeps to vote! So please come to the polls and give your vote for balls or NO balls! Don't be shy! This is a big decision and we need as many opinions as we can get to make the right one!